Becoming a Mother has Made me LESS Judgemental!

So...just a couple things that have been on my mind in the past few days...sorry it has been so long since I've had a chance to post (does anyone even read this besides crusty?)

I know that last thing that anyone wants to read about anymore is about Miss Brittany Spears, but I feel the need to comment so if you don't want to read...skip ahead :)
Did anyone catch her VMA performance the other night? I didn't watch the VMAs, mostly because I feel that once someone nears the age of 30, MTV should be discontinued...but that's another post. I DID catch news reports that her performance there was awful and so, being the curious voyeur, I watched it on MTV.com. I found that her performance was indeed horrendous. I really believe the she is on some sort of drugs. She seemed in a trace...only doing the movements halfway and lip synching thru the whole song. Sometimes, she even stopped singing altogether. I used to watch Brittany back in the day because I thought she was an amazing dancer...and loving to dance myself she was always entertaining. But, last night, all she did was walk back and forth across the stage pausing once in a while to grind on or be felt up by one of her male background dancers. What's more...and trust me....I AM NOT JUDGING...she was hardly the svelt, toned Brittany of yesteryear. Now, if I was going to be opening the VMA's with a performance, you better believe I would do everything possible not to have a single ounce of baby fat left on my body...or I would pick a costume that would more adequately high said baby fat.


So...here's the part where I'm not judging (because I know that last paragraph sounded a little mean). I FEEL BAD FOR BRITTANY. I really, really do. Being a mother now, I can understand the profound changes that occur in your mind, body, and soul after you welcome that first child into the world. IT CHANGES YOU. As much as you want to fight it, you are not the same person you are before your children arrive, and the more you fight that...the more you struggle, the worse you feel. I can see it in her...her partying, her crazy crotch flashing, the empty saddness in her eyes. She is trying so desperately to cling to what she was...but she's not that person anymore...she just isn't. And she isn't fooling anyone in the process.
What I hope for her and her children is that she realizes that her life isn't over...it's just different. She needs to embrace her new life and make the necessary changes to become happy in it. Maybe that means she needs to step out of the spotlight for a while...go to college...pursue some other dreams. She had the opportunity to do something amazing for a little while, but sometimes it's only meant to last a moment and then you move on to something else. She should be grateful for what she has been blessed with and bow out gracefully before the world she's trying to impress takes everything she has...including her children. OK I'm done now!


Topic 2 on the "No Judging Agenda":
About a week ago, I returned home after work at the usual late hour. My husband and I were upstairs talking in our bedroom when I heard a blood-curdling scream from outside. At first, I just ignorned it, thinking it was probably some crazy teenagers out for a summer drive just playing around. But then, five minutes later, I hear a girl scream "LET GO!" "LET GO OF ME" "I HATE YOU" followed again by another ear-piercing scream. Being the curious chick I am (and still on an adrenaline rush from work...I got to help with a chest tube!), I rushed downstairs to my side window. There were my neighbors...mother and 18 year old daughter...physically wrestling with each other on the driveway. It was apparent that the daughter wanted to get away and the mother was trying to hold her there. The daughter just kept screaming as loud as she could "GET OFF ME!" "YOU AREN'T MY MOTHER IF YOU'RE GOING TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS". "I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!" and so on...
For a second, I debated going out there to help, but then I realized that the mother was probably already embarrassed enough as I'm sure I wasn't the only one watching this go down...
I watched as the mother finally got the daughter inside the house and shut the door. All I could think was WOW, is this what I'm in for???
Here's where the no judging comes in: Four years ago, I was one of THOSE people. You know the one...if a baby was crying on a plane, I would be rolling my eyes and wishing the flight was over. If a child threw a tantrum in a grocery store, I would be thinking what a horrible job that mother must be doing for her child to be acting that way. I swore up and down to everyone and anyone who would listen that certainly MY kids would never ever act that way. And I believed it to the depth of my soul. And then, on April 9, 2004, God gave me the biggest wake up call that I know now I desperately needed. I think He gives us gifts and tasks in life to grow us and to make us better people. As soon as Hannah Banana was born, I knew I had been wrong...and she's spent the last 3 1/2 years proving it to me :) I consider myself a good parent, but here's the kicker...kids are people too...they aren't just extensions of yourself that you can control. They have their own personalities, agendas, and ways of showing emotion. Now I've been that mother on the plane with the tired, hungry, whiny baby...I've been that mother in the grocery store with the tantrum-throwing toddler...and one day, I know I'll be that mother in the driveway, trying to hold on to my daughter and keep her from leaving me in an angry rage.
As mothers, we need to support and help each other. Everyone needs to stop thinking they are doing any better of a job then everyone else. We all have challenges with our kids and with our own selves and we all need to be more understanding of each other.
So, there's my post for today. Tomorrow, I hope I have time to tell you a little bit about Hannah's first day of school :)